>> Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Lately I find myself in the search of constant knowledge. Reading, listening, watching, then ingesting it all and spitting out the seeds that don't feel right in my mind, heart or mouth. I suppose its a sign of growing up and gaining my own perspective. But in "growing up" comes other shocks of reality. Last week I endured the death of a high school friend. Quite a sudden and tragic loss. A friend, a woman my own age, who leaves behind a husband and two small boys. It struck me hard, not just her death, but the similarities of our lives. I felt the sorrow and pain her husband must be feeling. I felt the loss her close friends and loves ones felt. As I was driving alone the hour and a half to her wake, the time spent at the funeral home and the time alone driving home and there after, thoughts have buzzed my mind. It is somewhat easier to explain a death when one is sick or in an accident, but my mind was having a hard time wrapping itself around a loss so sudden. But as I longed for answers and struggled with my emotions, I was over come with joy and gratefulness. I hugged MY boys a little tighter. I kissed my husband a little longer and cuddled a little closer. I am grateful for my close friendships and the love that is shared. Life is too fragile and can be broken at any time. We all know that, but sometimes it takes a big break to realize it. It did for me.
Time is melting. Seeping between our fingers and onto the earth. And as I watch it drip, I smile for the drops are mixed with my tears of happiness.